Pandemic Positives
Before the pandemic hit, it was starting to feel as if I was submerged in the twilight zone. Something was bubbling. It seemed people were angry. They were striking out at me in the parking lot, in the hockey rink, and on social media. The negativity had peaked. I won’t elaborate. I refuse to infuse that energy with any kind of spark. It doesn’t matter, not anymore. But I will share, I was wounded, confused and exhausted.
When COVID-19 hit with a fury, we were all left stunned. It’s been nearly a week now and social distancing is the new norm and the responsible thing to do even while some insist on debating whether the crisis is real. I know it’s harder for some to stay home especially if they are alone and vulnerable.
I am very aware of, how lucky I am. My 12-year-old and my beagle, sweet Gus are my world. I am not alone and I do hold onto them even more tightly now. We, like the rest of the world wait. We wait for the curve to flatten. We wait for a new normal. We wait for it to become safe again.
My business, like many others has halted. It’s on pause with several projects in limbo. I am putting up a good fight. I try not to sink into the abyss of worry and anxiety. How long will it last? What will happen to the economy? What will be left after the dust settles? How is society changed forever?
I’m choosing for this moment to think about the good. And I have to include the wisdom of my son, my mini. I asked him to write out five things, he thinks is positive even as we face this crisis. Here is his list in his own words.
As a parent I can’t help but see the wins. With work on pause, I have a clearer mind, I’m rested and I’m able to focus on the little things. Yesterday, we laughed as we played with a stick. We threw it back and forth in a kind of ninja like exercise. Seems silly right? Our imaginations were in hyper drive. As I write this, mini, says, “Mom, can we do that again.”
And of course, the planet is showing great signs of healing. Less pollution and crystal-clear waters. We can’t avoid conversations of over consumption and living more simply. I have refused to hoard and am resisting the panic to over buy. When mini asks, “Mom will we run out of food?” I ignore the empty shelves in the grocery stores and the mounting anxiety and answer as calmly as I can, “No, the government tells us there is no shortage of food. We should though, only buy what we need.”
The lows are very real, however, and this blog wouldn’t be authentic if I didn’t include them. The mornings are the hardest for me. When I wake up and for a moment, I think it’s all a bad dream. My heart sinks and I try to keep a happy face to chart another day in a new routine.
The other day, a wave of sadness hit me at mini’s school, in the gymnasium where the
student’s belongings were laid out for students to pick up. Packing up assignments and his indoor shoes were too much to bear. This isn’t how grade six was supposed to end. There won’t be any assemblies marking his elementary years or ski trips or class memories made in Jasper. I took mini to the ravine to walk and we did what you do to keep a sense of normalcy. We talked about video games and zombies.
Lately, I’ve also noticed my son is playing with toys again. Remember those noises you hear when action figures, stuffies and soldiers, collide? Yes the Toy Story noises! They are alive and well and they are starting to drown out the constant pleas for screen time. For me, for now, at this moment, I’m choosing to see the positives. We are healthy, we are re-thinking how we consume. We are spending quality time with each other, skating, going for walks, climbing hills, and talking, really talking and actively listening. For me that’s a huge win!
